FatherHood... A Silent Film

Some captured moments speak for themselves. The best photographs can capture a whole story in one image.

Yet, as I began my journey of capturing virtuous Black men doing their best to be virtuous Black fathers, it became clear to me that these moments played out in a series of snapshots.

I realized that being a Black father is like being in a silent movie. The world has given you a soundtrack and everyone is waiting with bated breath for you to live down to their expectations.

In the old silent movies, the expressions and movements of the actors had to be exaggerated because they could not record their voices and the film technology was not good at picking up the nuance of movement.

I think this is why we miss so many tender moments when we see Black fathers. There is no exaggeration. Tender moments are subtle and need context. You cannot hear their strong voices because no one captures the sound. You cannot see their commitments because their movements are overshadowed by music and social technology they did not create. Technology and music that is dead set against the nuance of Black Fatherhood.

Who has time to watch a silent movie that you were told never existed?

~eHw~

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Any place is better
Starting from zero, got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
Me, myself, I got nothing to prove

~Tracy Chapman~

So I remember we were driving, driving in your car

Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged
I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

~Tracey Chapman~

So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car

Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder

And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged

I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

~Tracy Chapman~

And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged

I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone...

~Tracy Chapman~

Dance With My Father

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved

~Luther Vandross~

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
How I'd love, love, love to dance with my father again, ooh

~Luther Vandross~

If I could steal one final glance, one final step
One final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
'Cause I'd love, love, love to dance with my father again

~Luther Vandross~

Follow Me

Follow me

Follow me
Follow me

Follow me

Follow me yeah

Follow me

~Aly-US~

I'm hoping to see the day
When my people
Can all relate
We must stop fighting
To achieve the peace

That was taught in our country

We shall all be free

~Aly-US~

Follow me

Why don't you follow me
To a place

Where we can be free

~Aly-US~

Come with me

Over there

Let's put an end to racial hatred
And there's love to share
Can you feel it
It's in the air
Know its time for changes

Time for us to care

Follow me

Why don't you follow me
To a place
Where we can be free

~Aly-US~

We’re Almost There

No matter how hard
The task may seem
Don't give up our plans
Don't give up our dreams

No broken bridges
Can turn us around
'Cause what we're searchin' for
Will soon be found

Cause we're almost there
Just one more step
Cause we're almost there
Just one more step
Just one more step
Don't give up
'Cause we're almost all almost there
'Cause we're almost there

~Michael Jackson~

Look at the lovers

Look at the lonely lovers
That didn't make it
Life's long hard climb
Life's long hard climb
They just couldn't take it
They just couldn't take it

Don't let it happen to me and you
Hold on together, darlin'
We'll make it through

Darlin', keep on reachin' out for me
Keep on reachin', do it for me
Do it for me, cause baby

Cause we're almost there
Just one more step
Cause we're almost there
Just one more step
Just one more step
Don't give up
'Cause we're almost all almost there
'Cause we're almost there

~Michael Jackson~

We're so close

I can taste it
A life so sweet
Can't afford to waste it
Can't afford to waste it

Need to feel your hand
Slippin' from mine
Just hold on tighter now, darlin'
Keep on tryin'

Baby baby, don't give up
'Cause we're almost there)
Keep on, keep on
We're almost there)
Just one more step
'Cause we're almost there)
Cause we're almost there

Just one more step

Cause we're almost there
We've come to far
To turn around

Oh!

Keep on reachin'
For higher ground
We've had our ups and we've had our downs
Let nothin' in the world darlin'
Turn us around

Cause we're almost there
We're almost there
We're almost there

Everything we're lookin' for
We're almost there
Keep on reachin' out for me

Cause we're almost there darlin'
We're almost there
We're almost there darlin'
We're almost there
We're almost there

Ah we're almost there

~Michael Jackson~

Patches

I was born and raised down in Alabama
On a farm way back up in the woods
I was so ragged that folks used to call me Patches
Papa used to tease me about it
'Cause deep down inside he was hurt
'Cause he'd done all he could

~Clarence Carter~

He said, Patches
I'm dependin' on you, son
To pull the family through
My son, it's all left up to you

Then one day a strong rain came

And washed all the crops away
And at the age of 13 I thought
I was carryin' the weight of the Whole world on my shoulders
And you know, Mama knew What I was goin' through, 'cause

Every day I had to work the fields
'Cause that's the only way we got our meals
You see, I was the oldest of the family
And everybody else depended on me
Every night I heard my Mama pray
Lord, give him the strength to make another day

Two days later Papa passed away, and

I became a man that day
So I told Mama I was gonna quit school, but
She said that was Daddy's strictest rule

So every mornin' 'fore I went to school

I fed the chickens and I chopped wood too
Sometimes I felt that I couldn't go on
I wanted to leave, just run away from home
But I would remember what my daddy said
With tears in his eyes on his dyin' bed

He said, Patches
I'm dependin' on you, son
I tried to do my best
It's up to you to do the rest

~Clarence Carter~

I’m Her Daddy

How do you do, Lucy?

You sure been hard to find.
I heard you had a daughter
Six years old and
I just can't keep from cry'n'.

Six years Lucy, Lord have mercy,
That's a long time, that's a long time.
Is she pretty, has she grown?
Does she sleep well in a room of her own?
Can I see her?
Does she know that I'm her daddy, I'm her daddy?

~Bill Withers~

Did you give her one of my pictures?

Does she carry yeh, yeh, picture with her?
Does she show it to the baby sitter, and say,
"See that man, that's my daddy, that's my daddy?"
You should 'a told me, Lucy, You should 'a told me, Lucy,
Yeh, you should 'a told me, Lucy.

Oh, Lucy. Oh, Lucy. Oh, Lucy. Oh, Lucy.
You should 'a told me Lucy.

~Bill Withers~

Isn't she lovely?

Isn't she wonderful?
Isn't she precious?
Less than one minute old
I never thought through love we'd be
Making one as lovely as she
But isn't she lovely made from love?

~Stevie Wonder~

Isn't she pretty?
Truly the angel's best
Boy, I'm so happy
We have been Heaven-blessed
I can't believe what God has done
Through us, He's given life to one
But isn't she lovely made from love?

Isn't she lovely?
Life and love are the same
Life is Aisha
The meaning of her name
Londie, it could have not been done
Without you who conceived the one
That's so very lovely made from love
Hey!

New Day

Sun in the sky, you know how I feel
Me and the RZA connect
Breeze driftin' on by
Yeah, me and the RZA connect
Breeze driftin' on by (Uh)
It's a new life for me, yeah
It's a new dawn, it's a new day
It's a new life for me, ooh (Uh)
And I'm feeling good
Yeah, uh

~Kanye West & Jay-Z~

And I'll never let my son have an ego

He'll be nice to everyone, wherever we go
I mean, I might even make him be Republican
So everybody know he love white people
And I'll never let him leave his college girlfriend
And get caught up with the groupies in the whirlwind
And I'll never let him ever hit the telethon
I mean, even if people dyin' and the world ends
See, I just want him to have an easy life, not like Yeezy life
Just want him to be someone people like
Don't want him to be hated all the time, judged
Don't be like your daddy that'd never budge
And I'll never let him ever hit a strip club
I learned the hard way, that ain't the place to get love
And I'll never let his mom move to LA
Knowin' she couldn't take the pressure now we all pray

Sun in the sky, you know how I feel

Breeze driftin' on by
Breeze driftin' on by
Me and the RZA connect
It's a new life for me, ooh
Me and the RZA connect
And I'm feeling good
Yeah

Sorry, junior, I already ruined ya

'Cause you ain't even alive, paparazzi pursuin' ya
Sins of a father make your life ten times harder
I just wanna take ya to a barber
Bondin' on charters, all the shit that I never did
Teach you good values so you cherish it
Took me 26 years to find my path
My only job is cut the time in half
So at 13, we'll have our first drink together
Black bar mitzvahs, mazel tov, mogul talk
Look a man dead in his eyes
So he know you talk truth when you speak it
Give your word, keep it
And if the day comes I only see him on the weekend
I just pray we was in love on the night that we conceived him
Promise to never leave him even if his mama tweakin'
'Cause my dad left me and I promise never repeat him
Never repeat him, never repeat him

Sun in the sky, you know how I feel

Breeze driftin' on by
Breeze driftin' on by
It's a new life for me, yeah
It's a new dawn, it's a new day
It's a new life for me, ooh
And I'm feeling good
Sun in the sky, you know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by
Breeze driftin' on by
It's a new life for me, yeah
It's a new dawn, it's a new day
It's a new life for me, ooh
And I'm feeling
Birds flyin' high, you know how I feel

Sun in the sky, you know how I feel

Breeze driftin' on by
Breeze driftin' on by
It's a new life for me, yeah
It's a new dawn, it's a new day
It's a new life for me, ooh
And I'm feeling good
Sun in the sky, you know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by
Breeze driftin' on by
It's a new life for me, yeah
It's a new dawn, it's a new day
It's a new life for me, ooh
And I'm feeling

Birds flyin' high, you know how I feel

Let Me Be the Man My Daddy Was

He's worth more

Than every star in the sky

With that look of forgiveness

That's always in his eyes

He works so hard

But gentle as a lamb

He gave up so much

To make me just what I am and, oh

Oh, let me be

The man my daddy was

Oh, let me be

The man my daddy was

When I was young

Sometimes foolishly I played

But he reached out and, oh

Showed me the way

Now he's only human

And bound to make mistakes

But it was all right

By the moment I would awake and, oh

Oh, let me be

The man my daddy was

Oh, let me be

The man my daddy was

Sometimes I hope

I don't live to see the day

When he reaches down

And take them both away

And look at my children

Sometimes foolishly they play

Let me live long enough

Let me show them the way

My clothes were sometimes untidy

And that bed was never made

But mom and dad would scold me good

Never doubted I've made the grade

But now that I'm a man

I ask the Lord up above

Please let me raise my children right

And be the man my daddy was and, oh

Oh, let me be

The man my daddy was

Oh, let me be

The man my daddy was

He was a good man

He was a poor man

Oh, let me be

~The Chi-Lites~

Babyfather

We were waiting for the bus
No-one much around but us
Then I see this young boy cut a look at me

I'm stunned
In a daze
He had the whole street set ablaze
It's only love they say
Makes you feel this way
She liked his eyes she wanted more
The baby gonna have your smile for sure

He saw a lovely girl
Smelling sweet and soapy like fresh air
She saw him looking acted like she didn't care

That's how we knew
And so love grew a flower
A flower that is you

Your daddy knows you're a flame
Your daddy knows you're a flame
Your daddy knows you're a flame
Your daddy knows you're a flame

Even to the angels it may sound like a lie

For you child
He has the troops and extra backup standing by
For you child
For you he's the best he can be
For you child
For you he's the best he can be
Oh child don't you know
Your daddy love come with a life time guarantee

Your daddy knows you're a flame
Your daddy knows you're a flame
Yeah daddy love you child
Your daddy knows you're a flame
Your daddy knows you're a flame

Daddy love you yeah

It's only you he'll say
Made the young boy hungry for the man he is today
It' only love, love, love, love
Can make you feel this way

Your daddy knows you're a flame
Your daddy knows you're a flame
Yeah daddy love you child

Your daddy knows you're a flame
Your daddy knows you're a flame
Your daddy love come with a life time guarantee

Your daddy knows you're a flame

Your daddy knows you're a flame
Daddy love you, yeah

Your daddy knows you're a flame

Your daddy knows you're a flame
Did I tell you your daddy loves you

Your daddy knows you're a flame

Your daddy knows you're a flame
Oh child don't you know
Your daddy love come with a life time guarantee
Your daddy knows you're a flame
Daddy love you yeah

Your daddy knows you're a flame
Your daddy knows you're a flame
Oh child don't you know
Your daddy love come with a life time guarantee
Your daddy knows you're a flame
Daddy love you yeah

Your daddy knows you're a flame
Your daddy knows you're a flame
Oh child don't you know
Your daddy love come with a life time guarantee
Your daddy knows you're a flame
Daddy love you yeah

~Sade~

Family ReUnion

It's so nice to see

All the folks you love together
Sittin' and talkin' 'bout
All the things that's been goin' down

It's been a long, long time
Since we had a chance to get together
Nobody knows the next time we see each other
Maybe years and years from now

Family reunion (Got to have)
A family reunion
Family reunion
(It's so nice to come together) To come together
(To get together)

I wish grandma could see
The whole family
I sure miss her face
And her warm and tender embrace

And if grandpa was here
I know he'd be smiling for me a tear
To see what he has done
All the offsprings from his daughters and sons.

A family reunion (Gonna have)

A family reunion (Ooh, ooh)
Family reunion
(It's so nice to come together) To come together
(To get together)

Ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh...
Ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh...

At least once a year we should have
Family reunion
A family reunion (We need to do it for the young)
Family reunion
(It'll be nice, it'll be nice to come together) To come together
To get together

Family reunion (Sister knows, heaven knows)
A family reunion (It's good to see you)
Family reunion (I said we are sinkin' hands, makin' plans)
(Maybe next year) To come together (Maybe next year)

A family reunion (Ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh...)
A family reunion (We gotta have, we gotta have)
Family reunion (It'll be nice, it'll be so nice)
(To come together) To come together
(To get together)

~The O'Jays~